Things Aren’t So Bad

Last Bronx CM (Download)

FYI, the song in the ad (and the opening theme for the Saturn release of Last Bronx) is “Jaggy Love” by D’Secrets. The game had a re-release on the PS2 in 2006. The joke writes itself.

人生ゲーム　EX (Download)

Yes, this is Milton Bradley’s The Game of Life. No joke, it’s just weird to see an ad for it that doesn’t have a jingle.

Ganbare Goemon N64 CM (Download)

They could have at least tried to sound excited for the game. I mean, I know, it’s Goemon, but still.

Gatsby CM (Download)

I present this without comment, without judgment.

Okay, a little judgment.

ゲームで発見！！　たまごっち CM (Download)

Advertising your pet raising game by having a pet step in shit a different pet shat out = a million billion sales of your game. To me.

AEON Eikawa CM (Download)

I’ve watched this like a dozen times and I still can’t figure out what the first guy says.

McDonalds — Spicy Double Mac CM (Download)

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a burger so much I forgot to wear pants. Maybe it’s different for the ladies?

Gunze YG TVCM (Download)

…I just want to point out that this is the guy who had to release a statement to the press declaring his heterosexuality.

よい子とよいおとなの TVCM (Download)

Is this advertising a demo disc? Maybe? But more importantly, it’s showing that Crash and Parappa are not yet ready to push the beds together.

DRAGON BALL GT NEW カードダスミニ　TVCM (Download)

What.

It’s a tiny vending machine that you stock with the cards you already own, then pay it money to get back the cards you put in it? Someone tell me I have it wrong. Someone tell me the world still makes sense.